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This is a wonderful space to leave comments about a personal experience with D-MER or to share a story about working with a D-MER mother.


Showing: 199-221 of 221
Leslie said:   February 24, 2009 5:09 pm PST
Thank god for the internet and for this site. I have a 9-week-old who is a joy and have been struggling to understand the profound sadness I experience when I feed her. I am going to share this site with both my OB and pediatrician since the PPD screens aren't geared toward the acute and short-lived feelings of D-MER. Thank you for pursuing research on this condition and LOTS OF LOVE to all the other moms out there who are coping with it!

Ashley said:   February 17, 2009 3:08 pm PST
I am so happy to have found this site. I had my first child about 6 months ago, and had a very hard time getting my milk to flow properly. Within the first few seconds of milk flow I would think about suicide, and a worthless hopeless feeling. My mother said she also had the same issue when she breastfeed her 3 children... I'm am happy to have found an explination... Thank you :)

Katie said:   February 2, 2009 6:23 pm PST
Thank you for this!! I experienced this several times toward the beginning of my nursing and was terrified to feel it again. What a relief! Thank you !

chantal said:   December 11, 2008 6:43 pm PST
I had the same feelings as everyone else here !! hopelesness,panic, a hollow empty panic rising up from nowhere just as my breasts started to tingle before the milk flowed.only lasted about 10 seconds but the feeling is so scary and terrifying it is a very scary and confusing feeling which makes breastfeeding unpleasant experience.It never went away for as long as i breast fed my kids and not wanting to get into too much detail even now with my youngest being 7 if my breasts are stimulated during intimate moments i can sometimes experience a milder version of panic and dread.

Emilie said:   September 15, 2008 7:05 pm PST
Thank you for this information. I have felt this "wave of depression" many times while breastfeeding and was mystified by it. It helps to have a name for this condition and to know that I am not the only one with this experience. I will be sure to pass this information on to others in the birth and breastfeeding community.

Cindy said:   September 15, 2008 11:17 am PST
I am soo happy to have found this site and read through it. As a doula I have tried to figure out how to help clients who have gone or are going through this. Now we know it is not in their heads or "them" that it is something we can name and mover forward with in trying to find ways to cope....looking forward to more research into this area!! thank you and thank you to all you moms who shared such dep feelings

Cheri said:   September 15, 2008 10:39 am PST
I'm so excited to find your website (through DONA) and to have my feelings validated!!! For me it was like mini-anxiety attacks right before my milk let down. Thank you for your research and information!!!

Lynda said:   September 12, 2008 3:28 pm PST
Thank you for this info. I've always had this horrible depressed feeling wash over me when my milk let down. Everything you ever read is about "that warm fuzzy feeling" you get and all I felt was profound grief for a minute during breastfeeding. Thanks for giving this experience a diagnosis, and a name.

Elizabeth said:   August 27, 2008 4:48 pm PST
I find myself telling my son every time I breastfeed him that â?? Itâ??s going to be OK!â? I am never sure what â??Itâ? is but I am convinced he needs reassurance. Only recently it has become clear that the need for reassurance is mine. In fact I get â??the sadsâ?, along with a hollow sensation on the inside, every feed, mainly noticeable just with the first milk letdown, then it dissipates. Throughout the last few months Iâ??ve known that it had something to do with letdown because it was so specifically timed with the letdown sensation. I assumed therefore that it was hormonal/physiological and never really worried much about it. When my son was younger (heâ??s just over 5 months now) I would cry every feed but itâ??s eased up now to the little ritual of uttered reassurances. Chatting with another mum recently gave the whole experience a name: Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER)â?¦ Itâ??s good to know that Iâ??m not just a freak who, instead of getting all cheerful and relaxed with the start of each breastfeed, gets all gloomy and melancholy. It doesnâ??t seem to have impacted on my overall enjoyment of feeding though, nor of the delightful connection with my son that is so tender during feeds; itâ??s more like a dark but fleeting shadow that I have to endure to get to the good stuff, though I have read now that it can be quite intense and can impact on your relationship with feeding.

Kelly said:   August 17, 2008 5:50 pm PST
Thank you for this website and your research! I came across the site while looking at breastfeeding t-shirts. I had our son the end of May, and every time I begin to feed (which is right before/as my milk comes in), I have this feeling of nausea and overwhelming dread that lasts about 3 minutes. I almost gave up breastfeeding because of it, but have been sticking to it. I am so happy there is a name for it, and I will definitely be asking my doctor about this (and will be sharing this info with him). Thank you!!

Brenda said:   August 14, 2008 5:51 pm PST
I feel greatly relieved that research is underway for this funk. I experienced this with my 2nd and 3rd children. I did nurse them for 4 years and only felt funky for about 3-4 months after they were born. I would feel sudden bursts of irritability and gloom and big loserhood upon letdown. I liked to nurse in quiet comfortable places. I drank lots of water. I also experienced dysphoria after lovemaking/post orgasm. That, too, went away. As a mother and a midwife I thank you all for doing such great networking.

Juliet said:   August 14, 2008 4:05 pm PST
Hi, thanks for this site! I thought I was crazy (and I think my husband thinks the same way too!)...Everytime I breastfeed my 2nd baby, just before the let down reflex, I usually complain to him that I just want to shout for no reason...now I know I am not crazy as when I stopped breastfeeding (when my baby turned 2 years old) it all had gone too! I felt the same way with my first baby whom I breastfed for 10 months.

devorah said:   August 14, 2008 12:20 pm PST
I'm happy to have found this, I thought I was going crazy. Every time, like clockwork...ten seconds before my milk lets down a flash of dread and sadness, sometimes nausea. Now at least I know what it is. My baby (second one, didn't have this with the first) is nearly 3 months and things seem to be improving slightly. I have persistent headaches that seem related to this roller coaster. I had a ton of milk this time and reduced it a little and I think that may be what has helped. I miss the euphoria I felt with nursing my first and I'm going to try to go as long as I can stand it, but boy it's really hard sometimes.

Crystal said:   August 11, 2008 6:17 am PST
I am currently breastfeeding my 5th child and don't remember having this issue with my other children but definitely noticed it with this one. I knew it had to be related to letdown but had never read anything that listed this "feeling" being related to breastfeeding. I would tell my husband that when I breastfed I felt anxious and nervous and couldn't figure out why. It was nice to read something that confirmed that I was not the only one on the planet that experienced this odd feeling. My symptoms were no big deal and since I had breastfed before, I knew it had to be temporary, but I can see how a more severe case would be cause for alarm.

Karen said:   August 2, 2008 12:20 pm PST
I have 8 week old twins. About a month ago, I started to notice periods throughout the day where I was bone numbingly tired. Slowly I began to pinpoint the time to just before breastfeeding or before a letdown. Someone sent me this information and it really helps explain how I feel and helps me cope.

Laura said:   July 16, 2008 6:37 am PST
What a fascinating site. Weirdly, I had this exact experience *before* I got pregnant. I would experience that brief sense of hopelessness and extreme depression anytime I or someone else touched my breasts. This sensation actually disappeared when I got pregnant and I did not experience it while breastfeeding (although I was nervous in my pregnancy that I would). Just wanted to share this variation.

Eliza said:   July 13, 2008 10:57 am PST
I want to thank you, I took the information from the site on prescription medications to my doctor and started one of the dopamine reuptake inhibitors that you talked about. Within a week my D-MER went from severe to mild, nearly gone. And NO drop in milk supply! Thank you so much for all your time and work on D-MER! It feels so good to have a breastfeeding relationship that feels....normal.

Jenny said:   July 7, 2008 2:05 pm PST
I just ran accross this site on a babywearing forum. It explains the feelings I have been having before let down. Early on in breastfeeding I wondered if I was depressed or extremely tired, but then I began to notice that the feelings always preceded the let down and went away in 15-30 seconds. I sucks when it happens, but knowing what it is lets me ride it out and still enjoy nursing, because I know what is happening. Thanks for this website

Liz said:   June 26, 2008 9:00 am PST
I was so glad to see that a site had been put together about this topic. I have shared this information about this topic with other lactation consultants in our Perinatal Network community. What a great way to improve our care to our patients!

Katie said:   June 18, 2008 4:59 am PST
i am so happy i came across this website. I have been dealing with this "feeling" ever since i started breastfeeding. I had it with all 3 of my children, but just blamed it on my PPD. People always thought i was crazy...i could predict when my milk was going to letdown because about 30 seconds beforehand, i would get the most gut wrenching, ill minded feeling. Like the world was spinning out of control and i just wanted to crawl in a corner and hide. Then my milk would let down, and the feeling went away completely. While the baby was nursing, i would feel it again right before my milk letdown again. I tried asking my breastfeeding friends if they experienced the same thing and they said no. they had no clue what i was talking about. They kept thinking i was saying i didnt enjoy BF. that wasnt it at all. i LOVE breastfeeding, but i just got this weird, sad, empty feeling about 30 seconds before each letdown. I am SO thankful that it has a name, and its recognized and woman like me no longer have to feel alone. I hope they do find a cure, or a reason for why some of us mothers are feeling this way.

Misty said:   June 17, 2008 1:37 pm PST
Thank you so much for this site. I have been dealing with this feeling for over a year and finally know there are others out there like me.

Crystal said:   June 13, 2008 8:54 pm PST
Thank you for this site. I found this site while speaking on another message board site. I thought I was just crazy or silly when this happend, so it is good that I found something like this. My son is 3 months old and these feelings just started within the past month or so. My episodes mainly happen at work, so I usually don't say or do anything when it occurs; I just mainly sit still not knowing what in the world is going on (until now) and expect the let down to occur 10-20 seconds later. Thanks again!

Krista said:   June 3, 2008 5:03 pm PST
Thank you for this blog and all your hard work and research. My friend just referred me to your site because I had shared with her my feelings during breastfeeding. I feel very angry and sometimes sad or depressed. I also experience an increase in OCD-like behaviors. I actually decided to pump exclusively rather than put my baby to the breast while feeling this way. I still have the feelings when pumping. My baby is now 11 weeks old, and fortunately the feelings are decreasing. Some days are better than others. One key memory I have is just wanting to hit my dog as he lay on the bed while I pump. He wasn't doing anything wrong, I just felt such intense anger and irritation. Luckily, I don't act on these thoughts, but they are troubling. I just wanted to share a bit and thank you for what you're doing.

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