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This is a wonderful space to leave comments about a personal experience with D-MER or to share a story about working with a D-MER mother.

Showing: 100-198 of 222
Bwiddy said:   September 17, 2011 5:27 pm PST
I had a very intense case of D-MER. I wanted to share my story b/c when I explained my symptoms to my Doctor she said they were bizarre and that she had never heard of anything like it before. She couldn't help me at all and said my best bet was to get info from other women who had D-MER. My symptoms were extreme anxiety and intense anger. Every time my baby would latch on I would break down in tears and cry "I can't do this anymore!" The physical sensation was like that of a heart attack. I would start shaking and I would have chest pains. After awhile, the feelings would subside a bit and I would just have this achy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I would have several letdowns during a single feeding session so these symptoms would repeat over and over as I breastfed my son. It got to be so unbearable that I would cringe every time I saw my baby show signs of being hungry. I fantasized about just getting in the car and leaving--it really was so bad I just wanted to escape the horrible feelings. My solution (out of sheer desperation) was to use formula during the day and only breastfeed at night. Even at night I used to cry as I fed the baby. He is now almost 3 months and I think the feelings are less severe. I really hope this condition becomes more known in the medical field. Before I found this blog I felt completely alone. Thank you for speaking out about D-MER!

Bianca de Bont said:   August 8, 2011 5:28 am PST
D-MER! finally a name for my discomfort! I was not able to breastfeed for the first 6 weeks of my daughters life. I had to pump fulltime and bit by bit my production got better. My MER was really bad so they gave me a spray. Using that spray I was able o pump more milk, but I felt strange, down, headache, anxious. After 6 weeks we finaly did it, live-breastfeeding! But everything went downhill quickly. My daughter started to refuse all bottles and I suddenly started feeling depressed and desperate, thinking I had an anxiety disorder caused by severe sleep deprivation. But all of a sudden I realised that every time I had this feeling a MER occured. So I googled and found this page.. I am 100% sure I have D-mer. Only in Holland this phenomenom is not really known and accepted. But at least I know what is wrong with me! I am not weak or crazy. I love breastfeeding and my goal is to get my girl to accept cup feeding, so I can have a little time for myself sometimes to cope with the D-MER. In nederland misschien niet bekend en geaccepteerd, maar wel degelijk een echte kwaal. Ontzettend blij dat ik nu weet wat ik heb. Dat geeft een mens hoop!

Elle said:   August 6, 2011 8:50 am PST
I have polycystic ovarian syndrome as well. Has anyone else with D-MER been diagnosed with this? Could these be linked?

Elle said:   August 6, 2011 8:41 am PST
Thank you for this great info! It seems I have this as well. I've been breastfeeding now for 11 months. I'd like to help if possible. I can volunteer to be a participant in any studies you may have underway.

Vicky said:   July 25, 2011 1:29 am PST
Thank you so much!! I thought it was just me and have been so confused for so long! My partner thought I had a touch of PND but I tried telling him I only feel depressed when she latches on and it only lasts for a few minutes, but I still love breastfeeding! So glad there is a name for this, I feel normal again. I've been reluctant to share this with anyone other than my partner for fear that I'll put someone off breastfeeding.

Zaiyah said:   July 12, 2011 8:55 am PST
I might be beating a dead horse, but thank you for postnig this!

Natasha said:   July 10, 2011 1:11 pm PST
I googled my symptoms while breastfeeding my children and was relieved there was a name to what I was experiencing. I was suprised to know that there is not more literature on this "disorder". Thanks for this website.

Darcy said:   June 30, 2011 2:18 pm PST
Thank you for this website and please keep up the good work! It is such a relief to have an answer for the awful feelings I have when breastfeeding. I found this site when breastfeeding my last child. The feelings I had followed such a perfect pattern, I knew it had to be some sort of physiological reaction to the milk letdown. A few minutes on Google and I had an answer that I could not find in my nursing book. I not only have the depressing emotional wave, but I physically feel pressure start in my head and spread down to my neck. I sometimes feel multiple waves during breastfeeding, and some days or weeks the feelings are much worse than at other times - perhaps related to other factors (dehydration? stress?). I was so excited to see that you have added a lot more information than the last time I checked the site. It makes me feel hopeful that this will become a better known condition and I won't feel so unusual in this battle. I feel constantly on the verge of seeking medical treatment for this problem, especially during a period when the feelings are more severe (like the past few days). It is tough to decide when to do something about it other than just hold my head and breath through it, because I am strong willed and have no intention of weaning. It would take a lot to make me put my kid on formula.

Sabrina said:   June 22, 2011 12:40 pm PST
Me and my therapist discovered this condition online at my last therapy session. As I told her my symptoms, we both wondered, there must be a connection. When she read the symptoms out loud, it seemed like she just repeated everything that I had told her. It was a relief to know what I had. It help to know that I'm not the only one. I was happy knowing that it was a physiological problem and not a psychological problem. I'm thankful to have my therapist and also thankful for this website

Elisabeth said:   June 19, 2011 12:11 pm PST
I always blamed the hormones or thougt I was going nuts/crazy. But it was only when I feed my child or when the milk started to flow that I felt so sad, like it was the end of the world and after feeding it was over. So i soon made the conection that it was related to breastfeeding. Thanks for givings us mum finnaly a place to share our experience about this. We are not crazy, not bad moms, it is really biological. Love Elisabeth from Holland

Heather said:   June 18, 2011 8:31 pm PST
I'm amazed and thankful this condition has a name. I dealt with this years ago breastfeeding my daughter who's now six years old. The only reason I looked this up is because we had to put my cat to sleep last night and the way I'm feeling right now triggered this memory of how I felt then. That's how deep the sadness, dread and emptiness felt for just a minute or so each time my milk let down. Bless everyone dealing with this problem...I hope knowing the condition has a name and explanation will help.

Kirstie said:   June 7, 2011 9:49 am PST
This is so informative! I had this especially with my second baby. My little trick was to count and breathe deeply for the first minute, knowing that by the time I got to 30 or so the feeling would be gone. I never got down on myself about it since it seemed so clearly connected with the let-down I figured it was just some biological thing.

Cori said:   May 26, 2011 4:59 pm PST
I could cut and paste much of what these other moms have written describing how this feels. I had it with my daughter first and thought I just didn't like how breastfeeding felt. As time went on, it was less distressing to me and I eventually only noticed it at the beginning of the nursing. I nursed her for almost 3 years, though, and really enjoyed the relationship besides those few seconds before a MER. Now I'm nursing a 2 month old and have it again. I feel it muliple times when I breastfeed and also before spontaneous let-downs as well. It feels awful when it happens, but after it passes, it is just wonderful to see my baby gazing lovingly up at me, little pools of milk in the corners of his mouth. I don't allow it to define our nursing relationship. I would also be willing to help out in any way with regards to research and gathering information

Amy Chasez said:   May 25, 2011 2:29 pm PST
My midwife thankfully sent me this link! I never knew that I had a disorder with my milk ejection and thank God for a midwife that knows about this kind of stuff!! I suffered through this for 7 months of breastfeeding my daughter and then my milk just dried up....that was 7yrs ago. I am now pregnant with my 3rd baby and I do NOT want to go through this again! I am going to have my placenta encapsulated in hopes to help this problem, I will post my results!

ashlie said:   May 21, 2011 9:03 pm PST
So thankful for this information. I would always describe my feeling of depression, emptiness and sadness, with fellow nursing mothers and they would always look at me like i was crazy. I would immediately explain how it only last about a 60 sec. or so. But they never understood. I always felt like a bad Mom because of it. So finding this website has really helped me wrap my head around what was happening. Thank You!!!!

Molly Garcia said:   May 20, 2011 7:21 am PST
Oh my goodness!! I thought it was just me and it was all in my head. I was literally hours from weaning my daughter because no one could explain it. Thanks a ton!!!! Now I know I'm not alone and I felt terrible that I was going to have to wean but now I have hope.

Helen Leask said:   May 3, 2011 3:41 am PST
I honestly thought i was going mad 10 years ago. I wanted to die everytime my milk came in and i fed my baby. I couldn't cope with anyone waking her because she then would feed and spent my time avoiding people. My GP was wonderful but neither her nor my health visitor knew about this condition. Thank you so much for this site. x

ashley said:   March 28, 2011 8:26 am PST
thank you for all the work you have put into this website. i've always had a homesick feeling when my milk lets down and i never knew why. thanks to your website - now i do. i love breastfeeding, except for the first minute or so, but now i can rest assured that everything is fine! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nicole said:   February 28, 2011 8:29 am PST
I ran across this while reading the atlanta parent magazine, I am so glad I figured out that it's not just my mind. I was wondering why I feel so down when I am pumping and breastfeeding my son. I thought I had PPD but it would go away after I pumped. so glad I can understand this now and get through pumping

Anna said:   February 26, 2011 2:16 pm PST
I have experienced these symptoms with my second and third babies. It was very hard, esp as I had never heard about this and it felt like I was loosing control. While nursing the last baby it got so bad that I talked to a doctor. Although she was a very experienced woman, she had never heard about this, and thought it was related to a post natal depression. However, I had none of the usual symptoms of a PND. I was advised to stop breastfeeding and I did. I do not regret it, as I was without support in a difficult situation and had other children to look after. But had I known this earlier it would have saved me a lot of worries and I might have been able to feed my baby longer.

Emma said:   February 17, 2011 12:59 pm PST
The feelings described on here are exactly what I feel- But only when I pump- not when I nurse directly. Is that possible? Or maybe I just recognize them more when I pump at work because it is so specifically centered around the few minutes of my day when I pump? Anyone else experience it only when pumping?

w said:   February 16, 2011 5:59 am PST
I found this on google by typing 'weird sensation before let down'. Everything described by mums here is what I am getting with baby number 4. Knowing what it is isn't helping though - having been unable to breastfeed my third child as he is tube fed for health reasons, I was really looking forward to this baby - and I found myself thinking why was I looking forward to it, its making me feel irritable & sicky, hollow in stomach. The sensation of being in terrible danger or trouble..and it's so predictable, within a minute of this wave of horrid feelings, my breasts will start tingling and the milk flows. I cannot work out if I have it mild or moderate; I am already taking zoloft for ongoing depression which started when my other child fell ill. All I can say is that I feel energetic and well most of the time, except this sensation that washes over me before let down. hope it passes soon.

Nicola said:   February 15, 2011 12:40 pm PST
Thank you for your work on this. When I had these symptoms after my daughter was born in 2006, no one (including my ob and doula) knew what I was talking about, and I was incorrectly diagnosed with PPD. I hope research continues and that you can further educate the public so there is more support regarding this issue for nursing mothers.

Suzanne Ton said:   February 12, 2011 10:41 pm PST
I am so happy to find out that this condition has a name, and that women who have this can be helped. I am a physician, and when I experienced this with both of my children, none of my colleagues or my doctor had ever heard of this. I thought it was just my own particular way of experiencing the "well-being" from oxytocin that other women feel. I am so relieved that there is actually another explanation and I am not as neurotic as I thought I was. :). Thank you so much for your work on this.

Barbara Hardin said:   February 11, 2011 10:56 am PST
I have been an IBCLC for over 20 years. I am so glad to have found your website and its very useful information. One never stops learning when it comes to moms, babies and breastfeding. I will pass this resource on.

Vicky said:   February 11, 2011 9:13 am PST
I just read about this on Babble via Twitter. I am so glad that this has a name and diagnosis now. I had it in 2006. I wrote a bit on it here-

Elissa Davis said:   January 17, 2011 6:06 pm PST
I am so relieved to read that this is really happening to other women when their milk lets down! I thought I was going crazy when th lactation consultant kept saying, "it's supposed to be a feeling of euphoria" and I was feeling this sinking feeling full of anxiety and regret over whatever I had eaten the meal previous. I was taking Wellbutrin before for years before getting pregnant with my second. I did not have D-MER with my first so i had no idea what was going on and figured it was post partum. I wonder if taking wellbutrin for years prior to the pregnancy had anything to do with my levels. When I was prescribed over 10 years ago, I had read that Wellbutrin is not recommended for breastfeeding moms so I didn't think to start my medication back up again. It's not as bad as it was when I first had my baby in May so I am going to try to hang in there until she is weaned! Thank you for validating that no, I am not crazy and yes, other women experience this too!

Leah said:   January 16, 2011 9:46 am PST
I just read about your link in the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and was blown away! I was always so confused when I heard/read other mothers describing a feeling of happiness, calm and elation during let-down b/c I have always felt the opposite - sadness, hopelessness, depression. And then it passes quickly. Thanks for giving a name to what I've experienced!

Veronica said:   January 14, 2011 7:35 am PST
Thank you so much for setting up this blog. I nursed my son for 15 months and the entire time suffered from D-mer. I spoke to doctors and lactation consultants and no one had any answers. There where times while nursing that the feeling was so overwhelming that I was afraid that I was going to pass out. The spontanious let downs were even worse because didn't realize the feeling was related. I am now happily nursing my 3 week old daughter and am so greatfull that I can now try to enjoy nursing her knowing that I am not insane and if I just focus the feeling will pass within a minute. Some of the symptoms I feel are extreme depression, anger, fear, nausea, felling of suffocation like I'm not getting enough oxygen, and other emotions that I can't even put into words. By far one of the worse feelings I have ever experienced but knowing that I am not alone and am giving my babies the best food possible keeps me going. Thank you for all the information, it's more you will ever know!helpfull than

Lianne said:   January 2, 2011 1:15 am PST
Just an update on our situation (posted earlier). I've been breastfeeding now for 10 months and since I started having a strong cup of coffee in the morning my reactions have improved 80%. Too much coffee makes it worse so I only have one cup of coffee. I've also found massaging my head works. Currently I have mastitis and my little girl got her first two teeth and has started nursing frequently again so everything is quite hard work right now but were surviving.

Heather said:   December 20, 2010 9:46 pm PST
This is my third baby. I have had D-MER with all three. This is the first time I have found info on what has plagued me with all three babies. This website is an incredible relief and will make this final breastfeeding (last baby!) a lot easier knowing I'm not crazy. The sudden onset of mild depression and hollowness has often made me rethink breastfeeding. This site has made it easier to realize that this will pass. Thank you.

Teresa said:   December 18, 2010 6:27 am PST
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this website!! I nearly put my newborn on formula because I thought expressing my breastmilk (we have attachment issues) was making me depressed! Just before the 'starfire' of prickling begins behind my nipples to signal my milk letting down, I get an overwhelming wave of a horrible slimy feeling not unlike intense guilt, as if I have just slept with my best friend's husband or commited some heinous crime. I would begin each pumping session in tears and because I have multiple let downs, continue the pumping that way until both breasts were emptied or until I turned the pump off. Then all would return to normal. I'd be in the kitchen cooking or sterilising bottles and hear my baby coo from her portacot in the living room, and suddenly I would be miserable and crying for no apparent reason, or in a rage about absolutely nothing, followed promptly by the starfire of my milk letting down. It happens anywhere too - in the supermarket, in the car, at home or at a friend's. I would often think to myself, 'Maybe I am getting depressed because it is just too stressful to keep expressing my milk for Baby'. If I had not found this site, my darling girl would have been on formula within the week and I would have felt awful about it for a long time.

Martine said:   December 1, 2010 7:40 am PST
I'm so glad i finally now what is happening sometimes to me. I can just copy and paste the stories of other women. I also decided to exclusively pump due to the negative emotions that occur. Because i now know what's causing it, it is easier for me to handle the situation and to enjoy my precious newborn!

Sarah said:   November 27, 2010 5:03 am PST
My most pointed experiences with D-MER are specifically associated with FOOD. I might be ravenously hungry, and yet could never even CONSIDER eating during a nursing session. The very moment I begin chewing the first bite, I get this "falling" or "sinking" feeling that is very specific. It's NOT nausea per se...and not totally limited to just my stomach, but also deep within my chest somehow. It's a brief, dark, sinking, falling, yucky, uncomfortable, lost feeling... I relate to others who have described it as similar to "homesickeness". Also, similar to the split second you realize that you're having a bad dream but you can't quite wake up yet... Then as quickly as it comes - it goes! I also cannot be touched by my other children when I am nursing the baby. Not because they are doing anything annoying, but because I become aggitated, and feel "disgusted" by their touch...that it's "inappropriate" somehow. It's as if I cannot separate my feelings toward the baby vs them vs myself all in that same's difficult to describe. On a side note, I will say that I've observed it to be worse when I'm not hydrated enough, and when I'm not eating well in general. I will note that it hasn't happened to me AT ALL during this, my fourth baby and the only difference is that I've switched to a whole foods perhaps my hormone levels are more regulated as a result of that. THANK YOU for this website. I would bet money that THIS is why so many women who actually want to nurse, instead "decide" to stop nursing early...but have no real "reason" as to why. The experience is so hard to describe - and would be very intimidating so someone who has no resources to help them understand and support them through it.

Stephanie said:   November 26, 2010 8:16 am PST
I didn't experience this until I had my third baby. But I started to become severely nauseated just before let down and once my milk began to flow, the nausea would slowly subside. At first I thought I was nuts but then I told my bestfriend and she remembered getting an e-mail link to your site one time. So, I looked you up and realized what was happening. I don't have D-MER as severe as some others, just mainly nausea and once in a while a feeling of sadness. I could usually decrease how bad the nausea was if the TV was on or I could distract myself in some way. I am wondering if this is genetic?? My oldest sister only nursed her three children for 2-3 weeks each. She always told me she "just couldn't do it". Once I figured out that I was experiencing D-MER I told her to look at this site and she realized that this is exactly what she was experiencing. However, hers was more severe than mine. Now my second sister just had a baby 3 months ago and she is begining to experience the nausea just as I had. I thank you so much for having this site. We need to get the word out. My OB-GYN was not sure if she believed it but she was at least willing to accept that I was experiencing this feeling and that it was not right.

Alex R. said:   November 10, 2010 12:49 pm PST
Thank you for this site. I have had these same feelings _ sudden drop in the bit of my stomach and feeling of sadness when initially breastfeeding. I am so glad I am not insane!

Jamie said:   November 10, 2010 8:26 am PST
I came to this site because I was having moments throughout the day where I felt "icky" ever since I first became pregnant. It reminded me exactly of how I had seen D-MER described. I'm a doula so I did know that this condition existed. I'm not sure how common it is in pregnancy but it would make sense if it is hormonal. "Homesick" or like I want my mom is how I would describe it for me and I have had these feelings from time to time throughout my life, although not that often. As soon as I became pregnant, it was happening several times a day, just for a minute or so each time. I've also had these sensations in the past during moments of intimacy. One other person mentioned their teeth - my teeth will actually ache right at the start of this! It's very strange but so helpful to know that there is an explanation. I'm not sure how I will respond to breastfeeding but if my feelings intensify, at least I will understand what is going on and that I'm not alone.

Angela H. said:   November 9, 2010 10:05 pm PST
I finally called La leche league yesterday, with questions about nursing my 15 month old daughter and decided to also ask about these secret feelings I've been experiencing... Sixteen years ago I nursed for my son for two years and only mentioned the terrible feelings I had to my Mother and Sister. This time around, I was hoping that my nursing experience would be different with my daughter, but the feelings have returned! I am amazed to read other people's experience and realize that I'm not alone- and how crazy to realize how similar, down to the minutes each person experiences their feelings- I am the same! Sometimes the negativity starts the moment of latching on, other times it begins when my milk lets down and once started, lasts about 30 sec. to 2 minutes. During that time, I tell my husband not to ask me what I want to eat, where we should go out with friends or anything that he wants a positive answer for, because for those brief moments, I feel like the world is not worth living, I am sick to my stomach and have lost all appetite, I feel hopeless, overwhelmed, disgusted and exhausted! I sometimes feel thirsty and have thought that maybe it meant that I was dehydrated and have tried to drink more water. I've also noticed that the 'feelings' are more subtle when I am regular with my prenatal vitamins and are less noticeable when I nurse lying down! I also breathe very deeply... What a very strange thing! Thank you for making a place for people to realize that they are not alone.

Lianne said:   October 18, 2010 2:45 pm PST
Thank God I found this! I've been nursing for 7 months now exclusively to a baby who refuses all bottles, cups, milk, everything and even says 'booba!' but since she was two weeks old I've delt with overwhelming urges to bite myself, cry, throw her away, shivering, utter disgust, fury, repulsion, hate, self loathing, the sensation of being turned inside out, no emotion whatsoever, exhaustion, feelings of grief, panic, paranoia. All sorts. Then as soon as the milk flows (huge jets of course) all is well. I knew it was hormonal but kept quiet and only told close family who would believe me when I said I wasn't suffering from PND or baby blues. Now I have something to call it and which explains it perfectly. I'm in the UK and would be delighted to support this in anyway. I will be nursing until my daughter self weans but as my DMER seems severe I doubt I'll breastfeed again unless a suitable cure can be found. Thank you for all the advice!!!

Emily said:   October 16, 2010 2:08 pm PST
I'm glad there is research going in to this topic. I've been wondering why I feel such sadness before let down. It's good to know I'm not alone in this.

Jenny Young said:   October 4, 2010 5:21 pm PST
This is happening to me. Thanks for helping to define it and bring it to light.

Lonna Yen said:   September 21, 2010 9:08 am PST
Thank you for this Web site. I'm fortunate to have come across it. The information on this site taught me so much about what I was going through. It shed light on a topic that even doctors know little or nothing about. I wanted to give a stronger voice to this relatively young "disease." I have shared my story at .

Sarah said:   September 14, 2010 6:29 pm PST
I am as grateful as all of the others to see this site. The quotes from others put all my feelings into words. I feel relieved to know I am not the only one and there is a reason I feel the way I do. Thank you so much!

mama2manybabies said:   September 14, 2010 5:17 pm PST
I have felt this way for 3 of my 4 babies and never understood why. Thank you for explaining it. I felt suddenly embarassed, disgusted with myself and the world around me, but then it would pass. I did notice that with my last baby (#4), we encapsulated the placenta, in which I consumed daily, and did NOT feel negative in any way, at any time when letting down. I wonder if that had anything to do with it? All my best!

Tatiana said:   September 12, 2010 9:51 am PST
I didn't know there was anyone else out there like me. Every time my son would latch on, I would feel such despair--as if the world were about to end, and me with it. It was very deep and very black. And then, instantaneously, it would disappear. I thought I was just going crazy, and noone (even LCs) seemed to understand what I was talking about. Thank you, thank you, thank you for what you are doing!

Irena Groot-Overeem said:   September 7, 2010 11:35 pm PST
Hi, I found out a week after my babygirl was born about this condition through google. I think I had it too with my son 4 years ago but I managed because I wanted to breastfeed and I only had one child. Now it was more severe and I could not cope because I was more out of balance with my hormones. Maybe also because I have an underactive thyroid and I have ADD( I am the mother which Mieke describes on august the 17th.) After a lot of tears and trying the medicine bupropion( I took it only for 4 days; I was to down to try it out longer) I had decided to stop breastfeeding. But now that I am more in balance, I've decided tot give it a go to feed my baby in the morning and the evening, because this is my last baby and I want it to last and I miss the contact with my baby!!D-tsr is still there; I can feel the tsr's troughout the day but it goes away sooner. A few weeks ago it lasted during feeding halfway. So I will try it and see how it goes. I hope to read if anyones knows whether ADD has e reltion with D-tsr. Thanks for reading. Irena from the Netherlands

Kim V. said:   August 26, 2010 10:55 am PST
Please let me know if and when you need volunteers for research because I've experienced D-MER nursing both of my babies and would be happy to help further understanding of this. Thank you for all your hard work on this. Finding this website has made the positive difference in my breast feeding career. Thanks more than I can say! Aloha, Kim

Marcia McCoy said:   August 19, 2010 11:26 am PST
Has anyone looked at a possible link with Vitamin D deficiency?

Mieke van Rijn-Remans-IBCLC said:   August 17, 2010 4:39 am PST
Does anybody know if there can be a relation between D-MER and ADD ? I have emailcontact with a mother and she has both disorders. Because ADD also seems to be a dopamine related problem it sounds very logical to me. Greetings Mieke ( the Netherlands ).

Carin said:   August 17, 2010 1:56 am PST
Thankyou for providing an answer. For me, I have a rare allergy to Prolactin, the day my milk came in I broke out in hives until my son was 4 months old when that subsided aside from the odd outbreak. D-MER has been worse for me ever since and my only explanation for this is that my body has produced more Dopamine to suppress the Prolactin to stop the allergic reaction. Although I remember what I now know to be D-MER being around right from the start. My son is now 8 months old. For me D-MER is a sudden feeling of anxiety and tension in my chest followed by strong feelings of rage, of wanting to scream and smash holes in walls, hit people. I don't get it all the time. Some times are worse than other times. However, it is not uncommon for it to come on for me and seemingly not subside at all. I now know this to be due to multiple milk letdowns during feeding. Thankyou for the work you are doing. I will keep this site bookmarked and will be checking back regularly.

Jesica said:   July 27, 2010 11:26 am PST
THANK YOU! Keep up the research! I thought I was going crazy and had difficulty explaining "the feeling" or "mood swing" I would get right before my milk let down. I'm putting this site on my favorites!

Agma B. said:   July 26, 2010 11:02 am PST
My daughter asked us ( me and two other ladies) if we ever experienced sadness while breastfeeding and then, have the feeling dissapear after the feeding, almost inmediately. My friend from work went on the internet and found you by "googling" and I am forwarding it to her (my daughter). My husband is a research scientist and he felt it was caused by oxytocin. Your article is what she needs to read and learn! Thanks.

Angela Green said:   July 12, 2010 1:14 am PST
I am an experienced mother/baby/NICU nurse and felt very helpless when my daughter described these very symptoms to me when she breastfed my oldest grand daughter and now with my 2 month old grand daughter. She also felt similar symptoms very strongly one night with painful contractions during her 3rd trimester. I was so happy to find this site, I woke her up to read it. Thank you so much.

Jennb said:   July 4, 2010 6:33 pm PST
I first noticed the very negative feeling/anxiety the first week my son was born. I didn't feel it all the time, at least not severely. I did not have this with my first son. I was dealing with anxiety that began during pregnancy, and assumed these feelings were linked to this. I started treatment for ppd when my son was 2 months old. I was put on zoloft. Although I started to feel better overall, the frequency of the negative feelings while nursing increased greatly and were happening every time. With time, this lessened, and it doesn't happen every time anymore. My son is almost 6 months old.

Jennifer said:   June 18, 2010 8:41 am PST
Thank God there is an explanation for these feelings. With my first son, I just something was wrong w/ me or it was unique to that child...But now w/ my second son, that hollow/sick gut, ugh, miserable feeling comes everytime I sit down to nurse. I figured it was hormonal. I am relieved to have this conclusion confirmed & know that "I'm not crazy". This is a very real thing, keep up the research!

Amanda said:   June 12, 2010 7:00 pm PST
wow. it is such a relief to know that there are other people going through this. i thought i was a freak at first. i did leave a comment here a long time ago, but i thought i would come back and let everyone know that i am trying to get together a group on facebook so we can talk to eachother and give eachother advice about how this dmer effects us. i have never ever talked to another woman personally about this. i would really like to hear your stories and create a support net for woman strugling with this terrible condition. please help. the page is D-MER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex). thank you so much, and thanks for existing and keeping us so informed and feeling supported! = )

Lori said:   May 19, 2010 8:25 pm PST
This is the answer! I have had six children and always wondered what this strange reaction I had was. Even my midwife and lactation consultants had never heard of someone with these symptoms. The symptoms were less sever with my last few babies. I look forward to more research and information on this.

LB said:   May 12, 2010 6:50 am PST
I am so incredibly grateful to have found this. I always heard about the release of oxytocin, the "feel good" hormone, during breastfeeding, so I thought there was something seriously wrong with me when instead I would feel something like a mild depression before each let down. It happened the entire 5 months I breastfed my son, occurred frequently when I was pregnant with my daughter, and still happens when I breastfeed her. I never knew this had a name, or that it happened to anyone else, because everyone I've ever asked about it would tell me how wonderful they felt while breastfeeding. I'm not even looking for a cure... just knowing that I'm not alone, and that this DOES exist, is enough to keep me going and reassure me. Thank you so much.

Nora Schiess said:   May 4, 2010 11:10 am PST
Thanks so much for posting this information. I've been experiencing this for the past 3 months, and have found it so odd - particularly because I didn't experience anything like this when breastfeeding my first child. I thought it might be post-partum depression of some sort, but - as described on your site - the fact that it was this very sudden feeling that almost immediately went away made it unlike any post-partum depression I'd ever read about. Please do contact me if in your work to publish more on this you need more documented accounts of this. Very interesting!

Lisa said:   April 29, 2010 6:38 am PST
I'm so glad I stumbled across this site. My doctor thought I was crazy when I told her I was having panic attacks every time I breastfed and pumped for my daughter. It got so bad that I had to take her off the breast in the middle of the night. I felt like crying and screaming. I couldn't breathe--like a horrible claustrophobic feeling. I pictured the worst things happening to my baby. I am a VERY devoted mother and I love my baby more than anything, so I thought it was strange that my brain would do this to me while I was feeding her. Knowing that there are other women out there experiencing the same thing helps. I am now listening to soothing music when I pump and I have rearranged my bedroom so there is more room for me to stretch out when I feed my little girl. It helps knowing that this is an actuality. Good luck to all of you.

Nina said:   April 21, 2010 2:26 pm PST
I had it. When people talked about feeling thirsty when breastfeeding I assumed this was a misappropriation of the feelings of anger I got, specifically an anxious feeling and a tightness at the back of my throat.

Jennifer said:   April 13, 2010 1:56 pm PST
a friend just told me about this site. I have felt so alone in my breastfeeding experience with my first two children. Everyone else seems to be fine and really enjoy the feelings they have while breastfeeding. I am pregnant again, and looking forward to trying to deal better with this problem after my baby is born. I always felt guilty that I felt so terrible about nursing and always wanted to quit as soon as I could. I lasted 6 months with both kids, only because I forced myself to, and felt so much better after weaning. I was contemplating not nursing at all for the third one because I am so afraid of how horrible all of those feelings were while nursing, but I feel so encouraged reading this site. I am definitely going to be as preppared as possible before I have my baby. I'd love to hear if anyone has tried the natural remedies and what has helped them the most.

breastfeedingkills said:   April 6, 2010 12:54 pm PST
Wow, thanks for this site. I just linked to it from my blog, This is very informative and I'm sure it will help lots of ladies. Thanks!

Kelly Lorkin said:   March 24, 2010 8:10 pm PST
Wow. I can't believe I have found this site! I can't believe I am not alone in how I have been feeling when breastfeeding. I had my first child in 2007 and every single time I breastfed her I would have such an intense, overwhelming feeling of homesickness and an intense longing for something which I couldn't put my finger on. I would cry and feel 'empty' and anxious, and on top of that I would get such a sudden, intense thirst. I thought I must have had postnatal depression. I didn't dare talk about how I felt to anyone because I thought it was just me. I felt so alone. My husband would see me crying everytime I breastfed, but I couldn't explain to him how I was feeling. I have just had my second baby only eight weeks ago and although my feelings aren't as severe this time, I have occassionally found myself crying and I get an 'empty', longing feeling in my gut. I am so relieved I am not alone and that this is something real.

Adriana Bell said:   March 9, 2010 5:54 pm PST
I am not sure I truly have this, but it sounds all too familiar. My husband doesn't think so....hum, I do! I have to read more throughly the site. My baby is 10 months old and breastfeeding has not been easy. We have had a host of other problems and this one just adds to it. Look forward to new mamas!

Jessica said:   March 5, 2010 3:26 pm PST
Thank you so much for this site. I actually started having these feelings as a small child, and then they went away when I was about ten. But then, when I was about three months pregnant, they started to occur all the time. My midwife thought it may have been related to a heart murmur or mitral valve prolapse. I wore a heart monitor to determine if this was the source of the "emotional pang", as I called it, but nothing came of it. I had never been able to nail down an exact cause for this feeling until I started nursing. Right before I let down, it's like this terrible rush of homesickness and complete hopelessness comes over me. It only lasts a for few seconds, and then it is completely gone. I have had so much support at home since the birth of our son, and I had a wonderful childhood - so I knew it wasn't related to repressed memories or anything like that. Until I found this site last week, I just thought it was some emotional wire that was crossed or disconnected. However, simply knowing that other women experience this same feeling helps me to feel validated!

Emily said:   March 1, 2010 11:36 am PST
Like the others, I found out about D-mer because I had no idea what was happening to me. After finding this site, it was an "A-HA" moment that made me realize that it was not all in my head! Thanks so much for the information.

Margaret said:   February 22, 2010 7:31 am PST
What a helpful site! I just stumbled across it after googling "breastfeeding feeling anxious". I cannot believe that in this day and time D-MER is so unrecognized. My baby is 5 weeks old and I have been wondering why in the world am I feeling this way. I've asked the midwives and they are clueless about D-MER. I am a textbook example, which makes me feel a bit better about having such cringe-worthy feelings. I now have an overwhelming desire to be an advocate for spreading the word about D-MER. Thank you so much for such a helpful, informational site which is easy to read and navigate. I am grateful for now knowing such crucial information and that I am not alone.

Rita said:   February 10, 2010 6:48 am PST
I first experienced D-MER with my second child, but when I tried researching it, found NOTHING. I thought I was just crazy, and it was enough to make me quit breastfeeding him. When the feelings resurfaced with my third son, I had to give the research another try - I HAD to know what was wrong. Luckily, by the time he was born (September 2009) a little more was known about D-MER, and I found this site. Instantly I was flooded with relief. I wasn't crazy. Other people were experiencing this. And most importantly, it had a NAME! And a REASON for happening! The feeling of validation was so wonderful. Thanks for the site, and for the information. I hope we can all do our part in spreading the word about D-MER!

Jennifer said:   January 14, 2010 2:19 pm PST
I have been struggling with this issue since the birth of my daughter (5 months old). I went to my local Le Leche League (LLL) for help, after my OBGYN had no answers for me. LLL gave me the info regarding this site, and here I am today. I finally have an answer! I am not ALONE! This is very REAL and very unfortunate. Many times I have wanted to give up because I am tired of feeling sad. It overcomes me as I let down and makes me feel like I can burst out in tears. Many times I have. My primary symptoms are sadness, feeling empty, and feeling lonely. I will definitely help spread awareness about this condition by passing out the provided flyers to my local LLL, hospitals, lactation consultants/center etc. It is important that more people become educated and aware of D-MER. I am excited for more research to be done, and to watch this progress. It makes me sad to think of all the women that have had this and were given no help! I am very THANKFUL, that I found help and an answer!

Leigh said:   January 8, 2010 2:28 am PST
Well chalk me up as another mother amazed to have FINALLY found her people and her site. I am on my fourth round of this, i.e., on my fourth child. I have described this type of depression EXACTLY like it is described on this site to at least 4 different OBGYN's and not ONE has had any idea what I'm talking about. It's 4 in the morning and I can't wait for morning to tell my husband there's an actual name for my issue. For me it usually lasts a year, but this time I still have it now going on 13 months. Anyhow, THANK YOU THANK YOU for this site. Really.

Tammy said:   December 17, 2009 5:33 pm PST
Wow!!! Really, I thought I was the ONLY person in the world this was happening to. As soon as I put my son on to feed, I have a terrible anxiety / panic attack, the stronger my let down, the worse the attack, and it happens everytime my milk comes down. I was just telling my husband the other night how much I was not enjoying breast feeding with my son and wondering if I would even continue. I'm so happy to have found this site and would love to talk with others about this! Thank heaven someone put the information out there!!!

Crystal said:   December 15, 2009 11:56 am PST
I'm over 11 years out from breastfeeding now, my baby is 13! And yet I remember the dark cloud that followed me for 8 & 1/2 months with all four of my children while breastfeeding. But I was so determined to breastfeed, such mixed emotions! I can't remember if it was intensified before let-down since it has been so long, so mine was probably mostly postpartum depression. I realize I have always struggled w/ low grade depression (overly sensitive, sad & fragile), worsening w/ breastfeeding & stress. Now, I have found wellbutrin to greatly relieve my symptoms. I have tried SSRI's and they only increased my anxiety. I believe now, I was always low on dopamine and the medication has just filled a natural deficit. I have 2 daughters & work as an LC so I am so glad to learn of this diagnosis & treatment.

Amanda said:   December 13, 2009 9:49 am PST
wow!its so interesting to hear everyone elses stories about their dmer.mine didnt seem to start until my daughter was over about 2 months old.the first time it happened it was so intense.i was in the car with her and she had been asleep for over 3 hours.i felt like i was having a panic attack.i got very scared and heart was beating really fast.i felt nauseas and sweaty.then my breasts started leaking.and every time since then ive had the same thing happen.she is now over 6 months old.i have noticed that the emptier my breasts are, the more intense the feeling is.its not so severe that i feel the need for treatment though.i actually kind of like it while i am pumping at work, it kets me know that im about to heve a let down, and that way,i dont finish early! good luck ladies!

karen said:   December 4, 2009 2:35 pm PST

Sally said:   November 28, 2009 4:23 am PST
I'm so glad I came across this website. I am very relieved to know that I'm not the only one. When I tried to explain to friends and family about what I was going through no one understood what I was talking about. I was made to feel like something was wrong with me. But at least now I can say that I know whats wrong I have D-MER. Keep up the good work and hopefully in the future there will be a cure for this condition.

Jennifer said:   November 24, 2009 12:22 pm PST
WOW! I am not alone. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I thought that I was strange, abnormal, un-natural! I am filled with such relief that this is an actual condition! I have been trying to research this topic since I had my daughter in July. I was/am a very happy mother, but when I breastfed I experienced a very empty/depressed feeling when my milk would let down. This cuased breastfeeding to be a terrible experience for me. I stopped within 8 weeks. I am so happy that women are raising awareness about this topic!

Laura said:   November 20, 2009 4:21 pm PST
It is so important to have support for women with this condition. Who knows how many women over history have had this and have felt alone. Let's keep up the research and talk with other women about it!

Kimberly said:   October 23, 2009 1:22 pm PST
My baby is 3 weeks old today, this is my second baby and my second experience with D-MER, though it was more intense with my first... I still feel it with my daughter and wish it would just stop. It did eventually go away completely but it took a couple months. I hate that feeling of dread and loathing when my sweet baby starts nursing.

Amanda said:   October 19, 2009 2:13 am PST
Oh my gosh, this is amazing! I googled this a few years ago after my 4th baby. When breastfeeding I could always tell when my milk was letting down because I would feel this 'wave' come over me, I explained it to my husband as a 'wave of depression' that would engulf me right before letdown. I felt it deep inside. I would feel fat, ugly, gross, failure, and like a horrible person. It would only lasted briefly, then was gone. I could often trigger milk ejection reflex by having negative feelings. I tried talking to other mother's about this but no one understood. I experienced these 'waves' during pregnancy as well. I remember having them very very occasionally growing up, or after sex, but especially when I have more weight on me. I always attributed to being overweight as I seem to experience it more often then. I don't understand it, but am sure glad I am not the only one who experiences this! I didn't have it happen with my first baby as much, but more and more with each child where it became very predictable that I would have these bad feelings or 'waves' engulf me. Thank you for this website!

Tracy said:   October 12, 2009 9:26 am PST
Thank you for this site! I am battling a moderate case of D-Mer. I just wanted to share that I have found that if my husband hugs and kisses me as soon as my son latches for feeding I almost don't feel the response before letdown. It is the best medicine I have ever taken. I hope this works for someone else.

Rheanne said:   October 5, 2009 8:08 am PST
Wanted to share my thanks for making this issue a public, talked about one. After reading the information on this website, and taking suggestions from other wise mothers, I realize this condition is what has been causing this serious nausea and slight "down" feelings when my milk comes in. Its so awesome to hear it being talked about openly and I will do my best to spread the word of this organization even further because I believe that half of the problem is that mothers don't feel able to openly discuss anything but "joyous" feelings regarding their postpartum experience. It is OK to accept and discuss the different ways in which our bodies respond to these immense hormonal changes surrounding pregnancy and childbirth! I am so relieved and feel a strong sense of community with you other mothers that are experiencing this same phenomena. I want to also add that my son is now 5 months old and though the D-MER did progressively get worse in the first, I'd say, 4-ish months, it is now starting to supress, and is definitely less noticeable day by day. I believe this is due to an adjustment in the body, adapting to or regulating the hormonal hang in there ladies! This is something your bodies will all be able to handle and overcome!;)

Corrie said:   September 30, 2009 5:31 pm PST
Wow. I came across this site after googling all over the place looking for reasons why I have such a deeply shameful, anxious feeling when starting nursing or pumping. It is very intense but fades after a bit. I thought something was so wrong with me but now I know I'm not alone. I hope it goes away - it is very distressing. Thank you!

Tiffany said:   September 24, 2009 11:17 am PST
I was so suprised to find this site. I called my own breastfeeding peer counselor, my hospitals lactation consultation and even the government womens help line number and none could explain what happens to me while breastfeeding. Thanks for all the info

Leah said:   September 23, 2009 4:26 am PST
I am just staggered to come across this site - it never occurred to me before that the awful sad feeling I had at the beginning of every feed with both my children might be something that other people had too. I think mine is only a mild form of D-MER, and it has significantly faded as each child grew older, although I still at times experience crippling fatigue while feeding. I just thought that was normal! I'm wondering if there might be any link between D-MER and difficulty expressing? I've always had very little success with expressing and I think I have quite a slow let down reflex too, which has caused feeding difficulties as my daughter has gotten older and more impatient! Could there be some kind of a link here?

Sarah said:   September 19, 2009 6:25 pm PST
Thank you so much for this site! I thought I was alone! What a relief to know i'm not crazy!

Lisa said:   September 19, 2009 8:58 am PST
I am so happy to have found that this is not something peculiar to me. I am nursing my 3rd right now - I have had this with all 3 - a very sad, despairing, overwhelming feeling - with an overshadowing sense of guilt. I haven't been as upset by it this time as I knew it would come with every let-down - I have intense let-down - and then would fade away. Knowing it would happen has helped me to accept it and then let it go when it is over. It would be oh so nice if it didn't happen though . . . This has been a blemish on an otherwise successful nursing of all of my children and it is nice to know it is a physical reality and not a psychological failing.

Hilary said:   September 2, 2009 11:18 am PST
OMG! I thought I was insane! This is my third child and the first time I have had this. I am currently pumping because I am back at work, and I said to my husband "Every time I pump I feel really down in the dumps just as my milk comes down, it lasts for a bit, and then goes away." When I have these feelings during milk let down, I have the intense urge to eat junk food. I guess this is how I usually handle feelings of dysphoria. Interestingly, for a few weeks before the sad feelings with milk let-down started, I was getting a migraine headache during milk let down. This has since subsided.

Anne said:   July 5, 2009 7:10 am PST
I posted to a board about my strange feelings of sadness when I start nursing my boy, and someone replied with this link. I am so amazed and relieved that I'm not the only one! This describes what I am going through exactly, right down to the pit in my stomach. I feel it all over my body, actually, sort of a sinking sad feeling. But since I figured out it must be chemical, as it happens predictably when I start to nurse (or even pump), I've been able to detach myself from the emotions and get through them easier, although they do tend to hang on a bit. I wonder if this has anything to do with susceptibility to depression? I've suffered depression most of my life, although I'm managing it well now with zoloft. I'm glad I know that increasing the dose will not help with this issue!

Andrea said:   July 2, 2009 7:12 pm PST
After suffering for four months, I got help for my PPP, for which I was hospitalized. Be careful with Wellbutrin because I had a bad reaction when using it with Zoloft and have gotten off both of them. I'm on Geodon, which works to level out my brain chemistry. My advice is find a good doctor who will work with you, explore all options, and try to balance your hormones, dopamine and seratonin levels. I'll think positive thoughs for everyone.

katie said:   June 21, 2009 7:29 pm PST
Mine feels like a wave of depression, extreme sadness, major anxiety all washing over me. There is some sleepiness, too. It makes me feel totally hopeless. It has happened with all three of my babies. It was so bad that when we found out we were expecting our 3rd, I worried about just my milk let-down for the nine months I was pregnant. I only found one friend who had any of the feelings that I did right before my milk let down. She said she felt "a little anxious." No one else knew what I was talking about. I was at the end of my rope tonight and decided to google milk let-down and anxiety and happened upon this website. I am SO glad. I am already on an antidepressant, but I am taking this info to my doctor to see about adding wellbutrin. Thank you so much for putting this out there.

JME said:   May 23, 2009 7:10 pm PST
My best friend and I had babies 3 weeks apart. She LOVES breastfeeding and everything is perfect for her. I on the other hand have a hard time pumping and everytime I feed my baby I feel sick to my stomach. I am crying as I read about this...because I thought I was crazy.

Kelly S said:   May 20, 2009 8:11 pm PST

Andi said:   May 18, 2009 8:42 pm PST
Thank you for this website! Until I found it, I couldn't put my feelings into words and no one seemed to able to help me. I would wake up super aggressive and didn't know what was wrong. Since there is so much press about PPD right now, the doctors are quick to prescribe Zoloft, which didn't help me with the D-MER. I started taking 50 mg of Zoloft after two months of having my son, but I had negative side effects. I'm currently on Wellbutrin (150 mg) and 25 mg Zoloft, which seems to be helping. The Wellbutrin helped me immediately and it was nice to get my brain back. My goal is to get off the Zoloft as soon as possible. I'm also eating really healthy and taking vitamins. Keep up the good work and keep researching what helps others.

Sarah said:   May 15, 2009 12:08 pm PST
Thank you so much for making this information available. I went through this 7 months ago with the birth of my first baby and couldn't explain the awful "empty" feeling I got while breastfeeding. La Leche League was very nice but had no idea what I was talking about and none of my friends had experienced it either. Reading the post about hitting the dog is horrible, but I have had that exact same feeling! Thank you for helping people like me and letting moms know that it doesn't last forever and to keep trying your best.

jodiemac said:   May 8, 2009 4:13 am PST
This is ground-breaking stuff! I am a mum who has breastfed all three of my kids and has never felt D-MER, but knowing about it makes me more empathetic to my friends. I can understand why so many women are so negative about feeding their babies. I am a writer who is about to start a piece on my friend who has expeirenced D-MER, so hopefully, more people will become aware and be able to contribute to your research. All the best, Jodie

Rose said:   May 2, 2009 6:38 pm PST
Wow. I am so glad to find I'm not the only one! I'm nursing my fifth child and while I'm definitely committed, I've always wondered why I don't get the euphoric feelings everyone talks about as a result of breastfeeding. The first 3-4 months are the worst for me, but even at 9 months (now) I still get a short feeling of dread or doom at letdown. It's like a hollow my stomach or a hum in my teeth, a feeling like you didn't do something you know you should have...just an icky cloud. And then--it goes away. I've always known it had something to do with breastfeeding, with the letdown itself (the letdown reflex really does make me feel let down). I just never knew there why. Thanks, and good luck!

ANDREA said:   April 3, 2009 12:35 am PST
Finally decided to google the words "let down, depression, breastfeeding" and came across your website. I had this with my first and now my second child. It is a hideous feeling of sick, depression, and worthlessness. A wave. I feel sick just thinking about it - wow it actually exists.

amy said:   April 2, 2009 10:23 am PST
Thank U! thank U! thank U!! no woman deserves to feel like dying, feeling she'll never eat again &rather die, feeling she wants to just jump into a lagoon, like her world has ended, like yuk!, like she just wants to crawl under a cave ane seize to exist...all in a few seconds just because she wants to give her child the nutritious gift of breastfeeding. I will continue to give this gift whilst trying to distract myself for a s long as i possibly can. Knowing it has a name makes it all better for me and some days are not as bad ad the others...thanks a lot will spread this message around

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