Has anyone looked at a possible link with Vitamin D deficiency?

Does anybody know if there can be a relation between D-MER and ADD ? I have emailcontact with a mother and she has both disorders. Because ADD also seems to be a dopamine related problem it sounds very logical to me. Greetings Mieke ( the Netherlands ).

Thankyou for providing an answer. For me, I have a rare allergy to Prolactin, the day my milk came in I broke out in hives until my son was 4 months old when that subsided aside from the odd outbreak. D-MER has been worse for me ever since and my only explanation for this is that my body has produced more Dopamine to suppress the Prolactin to stop the allergic reaction. Although I remember what I now know to be D-MER being around right from the start. My son is now 8 months old. For me D-MER is a sudden feeling of anxiety and tension in my chest followed by strong feelings of rage, of wanting to scream and smash holes in walls, hit people. I don't get it all the time. Some times are worse than other times. However, it is not uncommon for it to come on for me and seemingly not subside at all. I now know this to be due to multiple milk letdowns during feeding. Thankyou for the work you are doing. I will keep this site bookmarked and will be checking back regularly.

THANK YOU! Keep up the research! I thought I was going crazy and had difficulty explaining "the feeling" or "mood swing" I would get right before my milk let down. I'm putting this site on my favorites!

My daughter asked us ( me and two other ladies) if we ever experienced sadness while breastfeeding and then, have the feeling dissapear after the feeding, almost inmediately. My friend from work went on the internet and found you by "googling" and I am forwarding it to her (my daughter). My husband is a research scientist and he felt it was caused by oxytocin. Your article is what she needs to read and learn! Thanks.

I am an experienced mother/baby/NICU nurse and felt very helpless when my daughter described these very symptoms to me when she breastfed my oldest grand daughter and now with my 2 month old grand daughter. She also felt similar symptoms very strongly one night with painful contractions during her 3rd trimester. I was so happy to find this site, I woke her up to read it. Thank you so much.

I first noticed the very negative feeling/anxiety the first week my son was born. I didn't feel it all the time, at least not severely. I did not have this with my first son. I was dealing with anxiety that began during pregnancy, and assumed these feelings were linked to this. I started treatment for ppd when my son was 2 months old. I was put on zoloft. Although I started to feel better overall, the frequency of the negative feelings while nursing increased greatly and were happening every time. With time, this lessened, and it doesn't happen every time anymore. My son is almost 6 months old.

Thank God there is an explanation for these feelings. With my first son, I just something was wrong w/ me or it was unique to that child...But now w/ my second son, that hollow/sick gut, ugh, miserable feeling comes everytime I sit down to nurse. I figured it was hormonal. I am relieved to have this conclusion confirmed & know that "I'm not crazy". This is a very real thing, keep up the research!

wow. it is such a relief to know that there are other people going through this. i thought i was a freak at first. i did leave a comment here a long time ago, but i thought i would come back and let everyone know that i am trying to get together a group on facebook so we can talk to eachother and give eachother advice about how this dmer effects us. i have never ever talked to another woman personally about this. i would really like to hear your stories and create a support net for woman strugling with this terrible condition. please help. the page is D-MER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex). thank you so much, and thanks d-mer.org for existing and keeping us so informed and feeling supported! = )

This is the answer! I have had six children and always wondered what this strange reaction I had was. Even my midwife and lactation consultants had never heard of someone with these symptoms. The symptoms were less sever with my last few babies. I look forward to more research and information on this.

I am so incredibly grateful to have found this. I always heard about the release of oxytocin, the "feel good" hormone, during breastfeeding, so I thought there was something seriously wrong with me when instead I would feel something like a mild depression before each let down. It happened the entire 5 months I breastfed my son, occurred frequently when I was pregnant with my daughter, and still happens when I breastfeed her. I never knew this had a name, or that it happened to anyone else, because everyone I've ever asked about it would tell me how wonderful they felt while breastfeeding. I'm not even looking for a cure... just knowing that I'm not alone, and that this DOES exist, is enough to keep me going and reassure me. Thank you so much.

Thanks so much for posting this information. I've been experiencing this for the past 3 months, and have found it so odd - particularly because I didn't experience anything like this when breastfeeding my first child. I thought it might be post-partum depression of some sort, but - as described on your site - the fact that it was this very sudden feeling that almost immediately went away made it unlike any post-partum depression I'd ever read about. Please do contact me if in your work to publish more on this you need more documented accounts of this. Very interesting!

I'm so glad I stumbled across this site. My doctor thought I was crazy when I told her I was having panic attacks every time I breastfed and pumped for my daughter. It got so bad that I had to take her off the breast in the middle of the night. I felt like crying and screaming. I couldn't breathe--like a horrible claustrophobic feeling. I pictured the worst things happening to my baby. I am a VERY devoted mother and I love my baby more than anything, so I thought it was strange that my brain would do this to me while I was feeding her. Knowing that there are other women out there experiencing the same thing helps. I am now listening to soothing music when I pump and I have rearranged my bedroom so there is more room for me to stretch out when I feed my little girl. It helps knowing that this is an actuality. Good luck to all of you.

I had it. When people talked about feeling thirsty when breastfeeding I assumed this was a misappropriation of the feelings of anger I got, specifically an anxious feeling and a tightness at the back of my throat.

a friend just told me about this site. I have felt so alone in my breastfeeding experience with my first two children. Everyone else seems to be fine and really enjoy the feelings they have while breastfeeding. I am pregnant again, and looking forward to trying to deal better with this problem after my baby is born. I always felt guilty that I felt so terrible about nursing and always wanted to quit as soon as I could. I lasted 6 months with both kids, only because I forced myself to, and felt so much better after weaning. I was contemplating not nursing at all for the third one because I am so afraid of how horrible all of those feelings were while nursing, but I feel so encouraged reading this site. I am definitely going to be as preppared as possible before I have my baby. I'd love to hear if anyone has tried the natural remedies and what has helped them the most.

Wow, thanks for this site. I just linked to it from my blog, http://breastfeedingkills.blogspot.com/ This is very informative and I'm sure it will help lots of ladies. Thanks!

Wow. I can't believe I have found this site! I can't believe I am not alone in how I have been feeling when breastfeeding. I had my first child in 2007 and every single time I breastfed her I would have such an intense, overwhelming feeling of homesickness and an intense longing for something which I couldn't put my finger on. I would cry and feel 'empty' and anxious, and on top of that I would get such a sudden, intense thirst. I thought I must have had postnatal depression. I didn't dare talk about how I felt to anyone because I thought it was just me. I felt so alone. My husband would see me crying everytime I breastfed, but I couldn't explain to him how I was feeling. I have just had my second baby only eight weeks ago and although my feelings aren't as severe this time, I have occassionally found myself crying and I get an 'empty', longing feeling in my gut. I am so relieved I am not alone and that this is something real.

I am not sure I truly have this, but it sounds all too familiar. My husband doesn't think so....hum, I do! I have to read more throughly the site. My baby is 10 months old and breastfeeding has not been easy. We have had a host of other problems and this one just adds to it. Look forward to new mamas!

Thank you so much for this site. I actually started having these feelings as a small child, and then they went away when I was about ten. But then, when I was about three months pregnant, they started to occur all the time. My midwife thought it may have been related to a heart murmur or mitral valve prolapse. I wore a heart monitor to determine if this was the source of the "emotional pang", as I called it, but nothing came of it. I had never been able to nail down an exact cause for this feeling until I started nursing. Right before I let down, it's like this terrible rush of homesickness and complete hopelessness comes over me. It only lasts a for few seconds, and then it is completely gone. I have had so much support at home since the birth of our son, and I had a wonderful childhood - so I knew it wasn't related to repressed memories or anything like that. Until I found this site last week, I just thought it was some emotional wire that was crossed or disconnected. However, simply knowing that other women experience this same feeling helps me to feel validated!

Like the others, I found out about D-mer because I had no idea what was happening to me. After finding this site, it was an "A-HA" moment that made me realize that it was not all in my head! Thanks so much for the information.

What a helpful site! I just stumbled across it after googling "breastfeeding feeling anxious". I cannot believe that in this day and time D-MER is so unrecognized. My baby is 5 weeks old and I have been wondering why in the world am I feeling this way. I've asked the midwives and they are clueless about D-MER. I am a textbook example, which makes me feel a bit better about having such cringe-worthy feelings. I now have an overwhelming desire to be an advocate for spreading the word about D-MER. Thank you so much for such a helpful, informational site which is easy to read and navigate. I am grateful for now knowing such crucial information and that I am not alone.

I first experienced D-MER with my second child, but when I tried researching it, found NOTHING. I thought I was just crazy, and it was enough to make me quit breastfeeding him. When the feelings resurfaced with my third son, I had to give the research another try - I HAD to know what was wrong. Luckily, by the time he was born (September 2009) a little more was known about D-MER, and I found this site. Instantly I was flooded with relief. I wasn't crazy. Other people were experiencing this. And most importantly, it had a NAME! And a REASON for happening! The feeling of validation was so wonderful. Thanks for the site, and for the information. I hope we can all do our part in spreading the word about D-MER!

I have been struggling with this issue since the birth of my daughter (5 months old). I went to my local Le Leche League (LLL) for help, after my OBGYN had no answers for me. LLL gave me the info regarding this site, and here I am today. I finally have an answer! I am not ALONE! This is very REAL and very unfortunate. Many times I have wanted to give up because I am tired of feeling sad. It overcomes me as I let down and makes me feel like I can burst out in tears. Many times I have. My primary symptoms are sadness, feeling empty, and feeling lonely. I will definitely help spread awareness about this condition by passing out the provided flyers to my local LLL, hospitals, lactation consultants/center etc. It is important that more people become educated and aware of D-MER. I am excited for more research to be done, and to watch this progress. It makes me sad to think of all the women that have had this and were given no help! I am very THANKFUL, that I found help and an answer!

Well chalk me up as another mother amazed to have FINALLY found her people and her site. I am on my fourth round of this, i.e., on my fourth child. I have described this type of depression EXACTLY like it is described on this site to at least 4 different OBGYN's and not ONE has had any idea what I'm talking about. It's 4 in the morning and I can't wait for morning to tell my husband there's an actual name for my issue. For me it usually lasts a year, but this time I still have it now going on 13 months. Anyhow, THANK YOU THANK YOU for this site. Really.

Wow!!! Really, I thought I was the ONLY person in the world this was happening to. As soon as I put my son on to feed, I have a terrible anxiety / panic attack, the stronger my let down, the worse the attack, and it happens everytime my milk comes down. I was just telling my husband the other night how much I was not enjoying breast feeding with my son and wondering if I would even continue. I'm so happy to have found this site and would love to talk with others about this! Thank heaven someone put the information out there!!!

I'm over 11 years out from breastfeeding now, my baby is 13! And yet I remember the dark cloud that followed me for 8 & 1/2 months with all four of my children while breastfeeding. But I was so determined to breastfeed, such mixed emotions! I can't remember if it was intensified before let-down since it has been so long, so mine was probably mostly postpartum depression. I realize I have always struggled w/ low grade depression (overly sensitive, sad & fragile), worsening w/ breastfeeding & stress. Now, I have found wellbutrin to greatly relieve my symptoms. I have tried SSRI's and they only increased my anxiety. I believe now, I was always low on dopamine and the medication has just filled a natural deficit. I have 2 daughters & work as an LC so I am so glad to learn of this diagnosis & treatment.

wow!its so interesting to hear everyone elses stories about their dmer.mine didnt seem to start until my daughter was over about 2 months old.the first time it happened it was so intense.i was in the car with her and she had been asleep for over 3 hours.i felt like i was having a panic attack.i got very scared and upset.my heart was beating really fast.i felt nauseas and sweaty.then my breasts started leaking.and every time since then ive had the same thing happen.she is now over 6 months old.i have noticed that the emptier my breasts are, the more intense the feeling is.its not so severe that i feel the need for treatment though.i actually kind of like it while i am pumping at work, it kets me know that im about to heve a let down, and that way,i dont finish early! good luck ladies!

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY.WHEN MY BABY INCREASED HER FEEDS IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE. I HAVE HAD ANXIETY SO BAD THAT IVE TAKEN MYSELF TO HOSPITAL. NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. MY BLOOD PRESSURE GOES THROUGH THE ROOF. THEY DO ALL THESE TESTS BUT ALL IS OK. I FEEL SO STUPID. BUT I KNOW ITS HAPPENING. I GET A FEELING OF GUILT AFTER THEY CANT FIND ANYTHING.I AM TAKING ANXIETY MEDICATION BUT STILL FEELING THE SAME AFTER WEEKS.

I'm so glad I came across this website. I am very relieved to know that I'm not the only one. When I tried to explain to friends and family about what I was going through no one understood what I was talking about. I was made to feel like something was wrong with me. But at least now I can say that I know whats wrong I have D-MER. Keep up the good work and hopefully in the future there will be a cure for this condition.

WOW! I am not alone. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I thought that I was strange, abnormal, un-natural! I am filled with such relief that this is an actual condition! I have been trying to research this topic since I had my daughter in July. I was/am a very happy mother, but when I breastfed I experienced a very empty/depressed feeling when my milk would let down. This cuased breastfeeding to be a terrible experience for me. I stopped within 8 weeks. I am so happy that women are raising awareness about this topic!

It is so important to have support for women with this condition. Who knows how many women over history have had this and have felt alone. Let's keep up the research and talk with other women about it!

My baby is 3 weeks old today, this is my second baby and my second experience with D-MER, though it was more intense with my first... I still feel it with my daughter and wish it would just stop. It did eventually go away completely but it took a couple months. I hate that feeling of dread and loathing when my sweet baby starts nursing.

Oh my gosh, this is amazing! I googled this a few years ago after my 4th baby. When breastfeeding I could always tell when my milk was letting down because I would feel this 'wave' come over me, I explained it to my husband as a 'wave of depression' that would engulf me right before letdown. I felt it deep inside. I would feel fat, ugly, gross, failure, and like a horrible person. It would only lasted briefly, then was gone. I could often trigger milk ejection reflex by having negative feelings. I tried talking to other mother's about this but no one understood. I experienced these 'waves' during pregnancy as well. I remember having them very very occasionally growing up, or after sex, but especially when I have more weight on me. I always attributed to being overweight as I seem to experience it more often then. I don't understand it, but am sure glad I am not the only one who experiences this! I didn't have it happen with my first baby as much, but more and more with each child where it became very predictable that I would have these bad feelings or 'waves' engulf me. Thank you for this website!

Thank you for this site! I am battling a moderate case of D-Mer. I just wanted to share that I have found that if my husband hugs and kisses me as soon as my son latches for feeding I almost don't feel the response before letdown. It is the best medicine I have ever taken. I hope this works for someone else.

Wanted to share my thanks for making this issue a public, talked about one. After reading the information on this website, and taking suggestions from other wise mothers, I realize this condition is what has been causing this serious nausea and slight "down" feelings when my milk comes in. Its so awesome to hear it being talked about openly and I will do my best to spread the word of this organization even further because I believe that half of the problem is that mothers don't feel able to openly discuss anything but "joyous" feelings regarding their postpartum experience. It is OK to accept and discuss the different ways in which our bodies respond to these immense hormonal changes surrounding pregnancy and childbirth! I am so relieved and feel a strong sense of community with you other mothers that are experiencing this same phenomena. I want to also add that my son is now 5 months old and though the D-MER did progressively get worse in the first, I'd say, 4-ish months, it is now starting to supress, and is definitely less noticeable day by day. I believe this is due to an adjustment in the body, adapting to or regulating the hormonal imbalance...so hang in there ladies! This is something your bodies will all be able to handle and overcome!;)

Wow. I came across this site after googling all over the place looking for reasons why I have such a deeply shameful, anxious feeling when starting nursing or pumping. It is very intense but fades after a bit. I thought something was so wrong with me but now I know I'm not alone. I hope it goes away - it is very distressing. Thank you!

I was so suprised to find this site. I called my own breastfeeding peer counselor, my hospitals lactation consultation and even the government womens help line number and none could explain what happens to me while breastfeeding. Thanks for all the info

I am just staggered to come across this site - it never occurred to me before that the awful sad feeling I had at the beginning of every feed with both my children might be something that other people had too. I think mine is only a mild form of D-MER, and it has significantly faded as each child grew older, although I still at times experience crippling fatigue while feeding. I just thought that was normal! I'm wondering if there might be any link between D-MER and difficulty expressing? I've always had very little success with expressing and I think I have quite a slow let down reflex too, which has caused feeding difficulties as my daughter has gotten older and more impatient! Could there be some kind of a link here?

Thank you so much for this site! I thought I was alone! What a relief to know i'm not crazy!

I am so happy to have found that this is not something peculiar to me. I am nursing my 3rd right now - I have had this with all 3 - a very sad, despairing, overwhelming feeling - with an overshadowing sense of guilt. I haven't been as upset by it this time as I knew it would come with every let-down - I have intense let-down - and then would fade away. Knowing it would happen has helped me to accept it and then let it go when it is over. It would be oh so nice if it didn't happen though . . . This has been a blemish on an otherwise successful nursing of all of my children and it is nice to know it is a physical reality and not a psychological failing.

OMG! I thought I was insane! This is my third child and the first time I have had this. I am currently pumping because I am back at work, and I said to my husband "Every time I pump I feel really down in the dumps just as my milk comes down, it lasts for a bit, and then goes away." When I have these feelings during milk let down, I have the intense urge to eat junk food. I guess this is how I usually handle feelings of dysphoria. Interestingly, for a few weeks before the sad feelings with milk let-down started, I was getting a migraine headache during milk let down. This has since subsided.

I posted to a babycenter.com board about my strange feelings of sadness when I start nursing my boy, and someone replied with this link. I am so amazed and relieved that I'm not the only one! This describes what I am going through exactly, right down to the pit in my stomach. I feel it all over my body, actually, sort of a sinking sad feeling. But since I figured out it must be chemical, as it happens predictably when I start to nurse (or even pump), I've been able to detach myself from the emotions and get through them easier, although they do tend to hang on a bit. I wonder if this has anything to do with susceptibility to depression? I've suffered depression most of my life, although I'm managing it well now with zoloft. I'm glad I know that increasing the dose will not help with this issue!

After suffering for four months, I got help for my PPP, for which I was hospitalized. Be careful with Wellbutrin because I had a bad reaction when using it with Zoloft and have gotten off both of them. I'm on Geodon, which works to level out my brain chemistry. My advice is find a good doctor who will work with you, explore all options, and try to balance your hormones, dopamine and seratonin levels. I'll think positive thoughs for everyone.

Mine feels like a wave of depression, extreme sadness, major anxiety all washing over me. There is some sleepiness, too. It makes me feel totally hopeless. It has happened with all three of my babies. It was so bad that when we found out we were expecting our 3rd, I worried about just my milk let-down for the nine months I was pregnant. I only found one friend who had any of the feelings that I did right before my milk let down. She said she felt "a little anxious." No one else knew what I was talking about. I was at the end of my rope tonight and decided to google milk let-down and anxiety and happened upon this website. I am SO glad. I am already on an antidepressant, but I am taking this info to my doctor to see about adding wellbutrin. Thank you so much for putting this out there.

My best friend and I had babies 3 weeks apart. She LOVES breastfeeding and everything is perfect for her. I on the other hand have a hard time pumping and everytime I feed my baby I feel sick to my stomach. I am crying as I read about this...because I thought I was crazy.

I HAVE D-MER BUT I DIDNT KNOW WHAT IT WAS CALLED OR THAT ANYONE ELSE HAD IT UNTIL I FOUND YOUR ARTICLE TODAY. I KNEW I HAD THESE FEELINGS BUT I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO DESCRIBE THEM TO ANYONE, ESPECIALLY THE MELANCHOLY CHILDHOOD FEELINGS? I HAD A GREAT CHILDHOOD.ITS A VERY STRANGE EMOTIONAL SENSATION. NO ONE COULD UNDERSTAND WHY I COULDNT SIT AT THE TABLE AND EAT DINNER AND NURSE AT THE SAME TIME.ITS GREAT TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN WHY. THANK YOU, SINCERELY

Thank you for this website! Until I found it, I couldn't put my feelings into words and no one seemed to able to help me. I would wake up super aggressive and didn't know what was wrong. Since there is so much press about PPD right now, the doctors are quick to prescribe Zoloft, which didn't help me with the D-MER. I started taking 50 mg of Zoloft after two months of having my son, but I had negative side effects. I'm currently on Wellbutrin (150 mg) and 25 mg Zoloft, which seems to be helping. The Wellbutrin helped me immediately and it was nice to get my brain back. My goal is to get off the Zoloft as soon as possible. I'm also eating really healthy and taking vitamins. Keep up the good work and keep researching what helps others.

Thank you so much for making this information available. I went through this 7 months ago with the birth of my first baby and couldn't explain the awful "empty" feeling I got while breastfeeding. La Leche League was very nice but had no idea what I was talking about and none of my friends had experienced it either. Reading the post about hitting the dog is horrible, but I have had that exact same feeling! Thank you for helping people like me and letting moms know that it doesn't last forever and to keep trying your best.

This is ground-breaking stuff! I am a mum who has breastfed all three of my kids and has never felt D-MER, but knowing about it makes me more empathetic to my friends. I can understand why so many women are so negative about feeding their babies. I am a writer who is about to start a piece on my friend who has expeirenced D-MER, so hopefully, more people will become aware and be able to contribute to your research. All the best, Jodie

Wow. I am so glad to find I'm not the only one! I'm nursing my fifth child and while I'm definitely committed, I've always wondered why I don't get the euphoric feelings everyone talks about as a result of breastfeeding. The first 3-4 months are the worst for me, but even at 9 months (now) I still get a short feeling of dread or doom at letdown. It's like a hollow my stomach or a hum in my teeth, a feeling like you didn't do something you know you should have...just an icky cloud. And then--it goes away. I've always known it had something to do with breastfeeding, with the letdown itself (the letdown reflex really does make me feel let down). I just never knew there why. Thanks, and good luck!

Finally decided to google the words "let down, depression, breastfeeding" and came across your website. I had this with my first and now my second child. It is a hideous feeling of sick, depression, and worthlessness. A wave. I feel sick just thinking about it - wow it actually exists.

Thank U! thank U! thank U!! no woman deserves to feel like dying, feeling she'll never eat again &rather die, feeling she wants to just jump into a lagoon, like her world has ended, like yuk!, like she just wants to crawl under a cave ane seize to exist...all in a few seconds just because she wants to give her child the nutritious gift of breastfeeding. I will continue to give this gift whilst trying to distract myself for a s long as i possibly can. Knowing it has a name makes it all better for me and some days are not as bad ad the others...thanks a lot will spread this message around

All i can say (tearfully and happily) is THANK YOU for giving my feelings a name and knowing that im not alone.it happened wit my first baby and now the second (8wks old). spoke with my mum and the only feeling she had while breastfeeding was aversion to food and not the whole mood neativity. will try the lifestyle changes of treatment and see what happens.it appears mine is the moderate form.kudos for your timely research

Thank god for the internet and for this site. I have a 9-week-old who is a joy and have been struggling to understand the profound sadness I experience when I feed her. I am going to share this site with both my OB and pediatrician since the PPD screens aren't geared toward the acute and short-lived feelings of D-MER. Thank you for pursuing research on this condition and LOTS OF LOVE to all the other moms out there who are coping with it!

I am so happy to have found this site. I had my first child about 6 months ago, and had a very hard time getting my milk to flow properly. Within the first few seconds of milk flow I would think about suicide, and a worthless hopeless feeling. My mother said she also had the same issue when she breastfeed her 3 children... I'm am happy to have found an explination... Thank you :)

Thank you for this!! I experienced this several times toward the beginning of my nursing and was terrified to feel it again. What a relief! Thank you !

I had the same feelings as everyone else here !! hopelesness,panic, a hollow empty panic rising up from nowhere just as my breasts started to tingle before the milk flowed.only lasted about 10 seconds but the feeling is so scary and terrifying it is a very scary and confusing feeling which makes breastfeeding unpleasant experience.It never went away for as long as i breast fed my kids and not wanting to get into too much detail even now with my youngest being 7 if my breasts are stimulated during intimate moments i can sometimes experience a milder version of panic and dread.

Thank you for this information. I have felt this "wave of depression" many times while breastfeeding and was mystified by it. It helps to have a name for this condition and to know that I am not the only one with this experience. I will be sure to pass this information on to others in the birth and breastfeeding community.

I am soo happy to have found this site and read through it. As a doula I have tried to figure out how to help clients who have gone or are going through this. Now we know it is not in their heads or "them" that it is something we can name and mover forward with in trying to find ways to cope....looking forward to more research into this area!! thank you and thank you to all you moms who shared such dep feelings

I'm so excited to find your website (through DONA) and to have my feelings validated!!! For me it was like mini-anxiety attacks right before my milk let down. Thank you for your research and information!!!

Thank you for this info. I've always had this horrible depressed feeling wash over me when my milk let down. Everything you ever read is about "that warm fuzzy feeling" you get and all I felt was profound grief for a minute during breastfeeding. Thanks for giving this experience a diagnosis, and a name.

I find myself telling my son every time I breastfeed him that â?? Itâ??s going to be OK!â? I am never sure what â??Itâ? is but I am convinced he needs reassurance. Only recently it has become clear that the need for reassurance is mine. In fact I get â??the sadsâ?, along with a hollow sensation on the inside, every feed, mainly noticeable just with the first milk letdown, then it dissipates. Throughout the last few months Iâ??ve known that it had something to do with letdown because it was so specifically timed with the letdown sensation. I assumed therefore that it was hormonal/physiological and never really worried much about it. When my son was younger (heâ??s just over 5 months now) I would cry every feed but itâ??s eased up now to the little ritual of uttered reassurances. Chatting with another mum recently gave the whole experience a name: Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER)â?¦ Itâ??s good to know that Iâ??m not just a freak who, instead of getting all cheerful and relaxed with the start of each breastfeed, gets all gloomy and melancholy. It doesnâ??t seem to have impacted on my overall enjoyment of feeding though, nor of the delightful connection with my son that is so tender during feeds; itâ??s more like a dark but fleeting shadow that I have to endure to get to the good stuff, though I have read now that it can be quite intense and can impact on your relationship with feeding.

Thank you for this website and your research! I came across the site while looking at breastfeeding t-shirts. I had our son the end of May, and every time I begin to feed (which is right before/as my milk comes in), I have this feeling of nausea and overwhelming dread that lasts about 3 minutes. I almost gave up breastfeeding because of it, but have been sticking to it. I am so happy there is a name for it, and I will definitely be asking my doctor about this (and will be sharing this info with him). Thank you!!

I feel greatly relieved that research is underway for this funk. I experienced this with my 2nd and 3rd children. I did nurse them for 4 years and only felt funky for about 3-4 months after they were born. I would feel sudden bursts of irritability and gloom and big loserhood upon letdown. I liked to nurse in quiet comfortable places. I drank lots of water. I also experienced dysphoria after lovemaking/post orgasm. That, too, went away. As a mother and a midwife I thank you all for doing such great networking.

Hi, thanks for this site! I thought I was crazy (and I think my husband thinks the same way too!)...Everytime I breastfeed my 2nd baby, just before the let down reflex, I usually complain to him that I just want to shout for no reason...now I know I am not crazy as when I stopped breastfeeding (when my baby turned 2 years old) it all had gone too! I felt the same way with my first baby whom I breastfed for 10 months.

I'm happy to have found this, I thought I was going crazy. Every time, like clockwork...ten seconds before my milk lets down a flash of dread and sadness, sometimes nausea. Now at least I know what it is. My baby (second one, didn't have this with the first) is nearly 3 months and things seem to be improving slightly. I have persistent headaches that seem related to this roller coaster. I had a ton of milk this time and reduced it a little and I think that may be what has helped. I miss the euphoria I felt with nursing my first and I'm going to try to go as long as I can stand it, but boy it's really hard sometimes.

I am currently breastfeeding my 5th child and don't remember having this issue with my other children but definitely noticed it with this one. I knew it had to be related to letdown but had never read anything that listed this "feeling" being related to breastfeeding. I would tell my husband that when I breastfed I felt anxious and nervous and couldn't figure out why. It was nice to read something that confirmed that I was not the only one on the planet that experienced this odd feeling. My symptoms were no big deal and since I had breastfed before, I knew it had to be temporary, but I can see how a more severe case would be cause for alarm.

I have 8 week old twins. About a month ago, I started to notice periods throughout the day where I was bone numbingly tired. Slowly I began to pinpoint the time to just before breastfeeding or before a letdown. Someone sent me this information and it really helps explain how I feel and helps me cope.

What a fascinating site. Weirdly, I had this exact experience *before* I got pregnant. I would experience that brief sense of hopelessness and extreme depression anytime I or someone else touched my breasts. This sensation actually disappeared when I got pregnant and I did not experience it while breastfeeding (although I was nervous in my pregnancy that I would). Just wanted to share this variation.

I want to thank you, I took the information from the site on prescription medications to my doctor and started one of the dopamine reuptake inhibitors that you talked about. Within a week my D-MER went from severe to mild, nearly gone. And NO drop in milk supply! Thank you so much for all your time and work on D-MER! It feels so good to have a breastfeeding relationship that feels....normal.

I just ran accross this site on a babywearing forum. It explains the feelings I have been having before let down. Early on in breastfeeding I wondered if I was depressed or extremely tired, but then I began to notice that the feelings always preceded the let down and went away in 15-30 seconds. I sucks when it happens, but knowing what it is lets me ride it out and still enjoy nursing, because I know what is happening. Thanks for this website

I was so glad to see that a site had been put together about this topic. I have shared this information about this topic with other lactation consultants in our Perinatal Network community. What a great way to improve our care to our patients!

i am so happy i came across this website. I have been dealing with this "feeling" ever since i started breastfeeding. I had it with all 3 of my children, but just blamed it on my PPD. People always thought i was crazy...i could predict when my milk was going to letdown because about 30 seconds beforehand, i would get the most gut wrenching, ill minded feeling. Like the world was spinning out of control and i just wanted to crawl in a corner and hide. Then my milk would let down, and the feeling went away completely. While the baby was nursing, i would feel it again right before my milk letdown again. I tried asking my breastfeeding friends if they experienced the same thing and they said no. they had no clue what i was talking about. They kept thinking i was saying i didnt enjoy BF. that wasnt it at all. i LOVE breastfeeding, but i just got this weird, sad, empty feeling about 30 seconds before each letdown. I am SO thankful that it has a name, and its recognized and woman like me no longer have to feel alone. I hope they do find a cure, or a reason for why some of us mothers are feeling this way.

Thank you so much for this site. I have been dealing with this feeling for over a year and finally know there are others out there like me.

Thank you for this site. I found this site while speaking on another message board site. I thought I was just crazy or silly when this happend, so it is good that I found something like this. My son is 3 months old and these feelings just started within the past month or so. My episodes mainly happen at work, so I usually don't say or do anything when it occurs; I just mainly sit still not knowing what in the world is going on (until now) and expect the let down to occur 10-20 seconds later. Thanks again!

Thank you for this blog and all your hard work and research. My friend just referred me to your site because I had shared with her my feelings during breastfeeding. I feel very angry and sometimes sad or depressed. I also experience an increase in OCD-like behaviors. I actually decided to pump exclusively rather than put my baby to the breast while feeling this way. I still have the feelings when pumping. My baby is now 11 weeks old, and fortunately the feelings are decreasing. Some days are better than others. One key memory I have is just wanting to hit my dog as he lay on the bed while I pump. He wasn't doing anything wrong, I just felt such intense anger and irritation. Luckily, I don't act on these thoughts, but they are troubling. I just wanted to share a bit and thank you for what you're doing.